Karen's Spring Blog: "Living Above Ground"

Wow...what a difference a few weeks can make! Actually, it's amazing what a difference a nano-second can make...just ask the nameless Olympic athlete who came in second place...or the driver who looked right one last time and avoided the semi-truck barreling down ... Is it just dumb luck or God's timing? I choose to believe the latter. I have been repeatedly hit head on by semis the past few years...the lesson... a simple one..."Hey Knucklehead, just friggin' wake up & look both ways before you pull out!" Nothing cryptic, no reading between the lines on this message from God...when you don't listen to His polite, gentle horn beeping to warn you He puts the pedal to the metal to get your attention. He finally got mine! Tough love...but I'm here to tell you it works.

On the positive side, I looked out into my courtyard today and saw that two of the bushes I had already written off as dead and needing to be removed had new buds all over them! "Oh, Me of little faith"! Why are we so quick to give up on things, on dreams, on solutions, on people, and most sadly...on ourselves? We have infinite impatience....while God has infinite patience. I am so thankful He does......I would have written me off about a million times by now.....but He never does. We see this countless times yet respond habitually with such a fatalistic view of things. When my Dad had a stroke our family doctor, the one who went so far back with us that he had grown up with my mother, told us to "get our affairs in order because your Dad isn't going to make it. Well that was 11 years ago......and my stubborn ass Dad is still here! Who thought Eli Manning was a mature enough leader to pull off the Super Bowl upset? A modern day David & Goliath story. Time after time we see the examples of "it ain't over ‘til it's over"? I don't listen to people who predict the death of anyone or anything. Only God knows when things are done. If you are still breathing YOU AREN'T DONE!!!!! I'm not done.

So, after the darkest and longest winter of discontent and despair in my life it is springtime in my heart again. Only a miracle can explain this...because it sure as hell isn't anything I did right! Most of you know me as a positive, upbeat happy person....but I have long been plagued with bouts of crippling depression that have shackled my progress both personally and professionally. I am sharing this because I know some of you reading this know what I'm talking about. No matter what you do, how many blessings you count or how many friends you have...it is all eclipsed by an impending sense of doom that you swear you can't crawl out of. It is a profoundly lonely and often embarrassing place to be. But if you believe in God He will not let you drown in that well....even one of your own making. He will pull you out if you just lift a finger toward Him. It's not circumstances, the action or inaction of others that keeps you in the well...it is the lie that you are not worth pulling out. But no matter what a loser you think you are the mere fact that you are a child of the Living God is enough reason to be worthy of living above ground. This time, with my sincere belief in Jesus as my literal Savior and finally swallowing my pride enough to utilizing some of the human vessels of His healing power (aka doctors), today I am not only out of the well, but standing in the sunshine excited about a new day and a new life. A place I could not even imagine being a few short weeks ago.

I now have an impending sense of joy that my destiny is finally coming into bloom. Last fall I had hoped that was the case but like Punxatauny Phil the groundhog, I ended up being afraid of my own shadow and predicted more winter.....very close to allowing another semi to render me "roadkill"! But this time I came out of my hole and saw the actual evidence of spring... now, if I just remember to water these flowers! They are GORGEOUS! The good side of my two edged emotional sword is that I am even more inclined to appreciate the blessings I have and to feel the infinite heights of joy that being alive in Christ bring.

I don't know why some of us have to endure so much when it seems others get by with an easy test. But the word to look at is "seems". God doesn't play favorites so it's safe to say that everyone has their own spiritual boot camp. Some of us just need to be broken down like Richard Gere in An Officer And A Gentleman to get the best out of us. Some of the breaking takes place in private and some takes place in public. God knows who responds best to either technique. Evidently I only respond to doing push-ups in 3 inches of muddy water in front of everyone that matters to me! "51...glub glub...52...glub glub....spit...53....."! I never said I was smart!

I do not take my anointing lightly. God gave me a gift to use for good works....to touch people with. I will be held accountable for my stewardship of that gift. I am constantly aware that there is one bad dude and his posse trying to take me out of the game....to tell me that I can't pull out a victory with my broken arm & gimp leg ...but he's a liar....and a scared liar at that. He knows I am just inches away from the winning touchdown and he is trying to psych me out...but it isn't working. I know who wins the game...I read the book AND watched the movie AND I am close friends with the head coach and author of the story. So from here on out I vow to play every down like it's my last. I'm not going to punt....I'm goin' long on fourth down sucker!! Hail Mary? Hell yeah!!!

I want to stand before God and have Him say "We had a few rough patches down there, didn't we child? But when they blitzed you didn't cower, you trusted me to protect you so you could relax and throw the ball like the champion I made you. Well done my good and faithful servant....oh, and sweet spiral on that TD pass!!!".

This blog is meant to serve two purposes. 1) to give hope to others who are in the well and think this is the end...that they have cried wolf one too many times and no one...not even God is going to come and pull them out AGAIN. 2) as a thank you for those of you whose compassion never burned out ...who came by and pulled up a chair at the mouth of the well and spoke encouraging words. Who let me know no matter how long I was down there that they would not forget me or leave me there. Who told me that clinging to the shame of being down there was only adding more weight for those brave souls who were trying to tie a rope around my waist to hoist me out. Who said that if they were ever in the well they knew I would be the first responder. God never abandoned me and neither did you.

You know who you are.

January 2008

Whweeewh! 2007 was both a brutal and wonderful year! At any rate, I'm glad it's almost over because I am STOKED about 2008!!!!

After an exhausting nearly 2 year legal battle with my publisher I decided that the future was too bright to allow such darkness to weigh me down...so I walked away, leaving a ton of money and songs but keeping my sanity and creative gifts intact. I am working without a net but when God is taking care of you...you don't need a net!

Since God can't put anything else wonderful in your hand until you put down what you've already got in it...the moment I released it I was given so many blessings I am now merely trying to manage all of them! What an incredible problem to have! LOL!!

I am excited and downright honored to be a part of the genesis of the careers of several talented young artists. Not only are they all incredibly gifted, but they are spectacular human beings to boot! It is a joy to be around them and to watch the planets align for them.

Please check out these fine people I am blessed to call friends...John Adam Murph, Kyle Wyley, Rachel Williams, Steven Lee Olson. It's truly stunning to witness so much talent in so many people. All of them are working on records as we speak, so it will be exciting to see where all of them end up. Hopefully battling each other on the charts at the same time!!

I will be on the road much of the first quarter of '08 with another ridiculously gifted singer and performer, Emma Mae Jacob. I will be doing a radio tour with Emma, playing guitar and singing backup vocals for her...as well making sure she sits up straight and eats all of her vegetables. Did I mention she is 16 ? I couldn't tie my shoes at 16...this girl can outsing and outperform the most seasoned of veterans. I still can't believe God threw her in my lap out of nowhere. I literally believe being a part of her career is going to be being part of history...she has a compelling story to go with her compelling gifts. Trust me, the world will soon know about Emma Mae Jacob.

I love the toast a friend of mine did one time on New Year's Eve "May the best of the past year be the worst of the new year!" I wish great things for all of you in 2008.

Thank all of you for supporting me and look for my monthly blog updates!